Can I get a Witness?

So picture this. I slept in yesterday. I had just started my coffee and someone knocks on the door. I see two guys in business suits standing on the stoop. I'm thinking, great, the feds have come to question me and I can't even make complete sentences yet. Fortunately, they were only Jehovah's witnesses and they took one look at me and appeared to be ready to run. The guy's hand was literally shaking when he gave me the brochure. They couldn't get away fast enough.

I take a look at myself in the mirror when they leave. I'm wearing pink flannel pajama bottoms with a weird print on them, a bright red Mickey Mouse t-shirt and my hair is sticking out in every direction. But the real piece de resistance was the mascara that I forgot to wash off the night before. It had run down my face. It looked like I had two shiners and possibly leprosy. I'm betting they crossed me off their list for future visits.

Word folks. If you want to get rid of those pesky door to door missionaries, this works.