I'm dreaming...

Whoa baby. For the last three weeks I've been on this golden schedule where I didn't have to be anywhere until 11:30 so I could sleep in every day. For the last two days I've had to get up in the dark. And it's dark and cold at 5:30am I'm telling you. Both mornings I was in the middle of a dream when the alarm went off.

Yesterday I was dreaming about Steve Sanderson of the Drunk Stuntmen. This morning I was dreaming about a former associate at my old law firm. I don't remember much about either, except both featured copious amounts of marijuana. Meanwhile, I'm done with work for today but I decided I wasn't going to take a nap and was going to watch Bush's speech instead. But I feel asleep in the middle of it and wow, did I just have a weird dream. I was dreaming that I was dreaming and kept waking up in strange places.

I was in a vacation cabin of some kind with my Dad and my sister. I was sleeping in a small room with two big screened windows on either side of the bed. I was dreaming that I was dreaming about somebody giving me a watch and three bras. There was a big commotion outside one of the windows that "woke me up" and when I looked out there was evangelical revival meeting going on. There was a strapless, really padded black bra in the bed so I put it on and went out wearing only that, and the watch, to talk to the holy rollers. Some woman insisted on putting a tshirt on me and took off the watch I got in the dream I was having and put a Jesus watch on my wrist instead.

After that it gets a little fuzzy but I found myself back in the cabin sleeping again when I was woken up by a commotion at the other window. There was a tag sale going on out there and someone had a box of kid's books that I wanted to look at. I went out again but couldn't find the books. When I went to ask the people who had them, they drove away in a red sports car. Meanwhile, there was all kinds of commotion going on out there. The scene kept morphing.

A kid walked by and complained to his Dad that the beach was eroded and there was nothing to take a picture of. I decided to take a look at the beach. I walked through a church bake sale where another middle aged woman threw me onto a big board and insisted I needed a massage. Sometimes I was naked, sometimes I had the tshirt on. At one point I had two tshirts on, as if one had slipped down to my waist.

At the bake sale, I saw this really colorful lizard sitting on a muffin. A guy said that it was good luck to stroke its tail but when I did, it bit me on the wrist and wouldn't let go. I stroked its tail some more and when he stopped biting me I grabbed it by the neck and threw him on the ground. His guts were popping out of his mouth and I said, gee, I hope I didn't kill him.

I finally got to the beach and it wasn't eroded at all. It was a huge sand bar with almost no water and surrounded by steep hills filled with shacks, like a barrio. I couldn't get a picture because there was no sun so I headed back to the cabin. This time there was a restaurant in my way and I was naked again. I tried to go through the kitchen but a girl in a wedding gown was blocking the door and told me I had to go through the dining room. By then I had the two tshirts on again so it was okay.

I finally got back to my cabin and my sister was there. She said she was going forget going to the beach and was going to the lake instead. I tried to get her to give me directions to the lake but she didn't know how to get there. Then I "woke up" in my bed in the cabin again. The dream was so "real" I checked my wrist to see if the hole the lizard put in it was still there -- it wasn't -- and neither was I wearing the Jesus watch anymore.

I was pondering the meaning of all this when I really woke up here on my couch. I swear, the dream was so vivid, I still checked to see if there was hole in my wrist and whether I was wearing a watch. Just weird. If I had a shrink, I imagine he would have had a field day deciphering the Freudian meaning of this one.