Sunday, June 25, 2006

Tripping out...

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone tonight. I could have died this week from that bad reaction to the med and chances are if I didn't have such good advocates in my family who forced the issue, I would be at least be in intensive care around now instead of on the mend. I worked all day on four hours of sleep and I'm pissing pure Gatorade, so I'm in no condition to make a focused judgment but I can't shake this serious uneasiness about Acidman. I know better than most what untreated debilating pain might do to normally strong people. Not much I can do from here but send a good thought and trust the universe to hold him up but I've been thinking all day about my own relationship with him.

I've kept it private, because I'm not much for disclosing all the intimate details of my life. There's a lot of things I can't talk about out of respect for my family's request for privacy and I don't usually disclose the really intimate details of my own. But Rob's world is more open than mine and I don't want him to think I'm embarrassed by my feelings for him, so I'm going to "come out" in a way.

This may surprise the Rumblers but Rob and I have discussed getting together in person. In fact, he made me the most generous and astounding offer I've ever received a few weeks ago. It brought tears to my eyes. He offered to take me as his passenger on a cross country tour of the USofA. Just me and him and the open road. No expectations and hopefully no regrets.

My heart leapt with joy at the vision of the two of us in the car. I had not a moment's doubt that my answer was yes. I had visions of how much fun it would be. I could see us laughing hysterically as we drove down some tree lined road, heard the screeching of the tires when I shouted "turn there" at the last second, while he cursed my alleged navigation skills, pictured him charming the waitress at some strange roadside joint in anywhere America....

And of course I'd bring the laptop and with most of America wired we could do roving wifi posts right from the car. It was the craziest and best offer I've had in years and there's nothing I'd like to do more. I can't think of a more unlikely or better pair of traveling companions than the two of us. My God, think of the blog fodder......

My disappointment at having to decline the invitation for truly a trip of a lifetime was so big, it crushed the breath out of me for two solid weeks. It still makes me sad that I'm not free to go. If I was, we would be discussing the itinerary today.

So, Rob if you're just hunkered down and feeling overwhelmed today and see this, let me tell you and the world, that I really care about you even though I don't know you outside of the internets. Your politics suck but you're a good man, so stick with us okay? Don't be so proud. Let your friends help.


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