dripcandles.net
Reality based child rearing

Tony Newman posts a lovely essay at Alternet this week about how his parents dealt with his adolescent substance experimentation by using a reality-based no abstinence approach. They all agreed the parents would rather not he experiment but if he was determined to do so, it would be in his own yard. They built him a shed for the purpose and he and his neighborhood friends lived out their teenage recklessness in safety under their unobtrusive but nonetheless watchful eye. They all grew up to become responsible and productive citizens.

It reminded me of my high school friend Billy Michael. His parents built him a shed, a glorious rustic affair with comfortable seating and a wood stove, where we all spent many hours safely getting through our own adolescent explorations. Like Newman's parents, Will and Dolores had it right. They knew we were in there smoking pot and watching crayon colored candles burn into overlapping puddles of hot slush but the important thing was, they knew where we were.

We all turned out pretty well also. In fact my boyfriend from that time started a business that provided him with a six figure income. My mother never did forgive me for letting him go.