Monday, April 14, 2008

Pick up on aisle four

So I had this craving for baked beans out of a can. It's been many years since I've had any kind of baked bean, unless you count the refried at the Mexican restaurants, but as a kid I loved Campbells baked beans and I got this craving the other day that was so acute I could taste them.

It passed, but anticipating that it would strike again, I decided to buy a can at the grocery store. They didn't have Campbells, but they did have a dizzying array of other choices. So I'm standing there studying the stupefying display and comtemplating whether I want to go through with this purchase and this really tall guy, attractive really, probably in his early 40s, sidles up to me and delivers the most endearing ice breaking line I've ever heard.

"Hey. You're standing in my favorite section of the grocery store."

We had a rather long conversation about the joys and intricacies of baked beans. He recommended his favorites and informed me I should add some honey because it just ain't baked beans unless they're a little sweet. Then his mom showed up. He bought some red beans, carefully finding the one with the black label.

"Oh, are you making chili again," she said.

"Yeah, let's go see if see if we can find some meat," he replied.

I ran into them again at the frozen potato section where he regaled me of tales of fish sticks and tater tots.

Our last encounter was in the pet section. I was looking at dog toys. They were deeply involved in debating the flea and tick medicines. I got the feeling that they couldn't read. I read the labels for them. Good thing because they were looking at the wrong medicine that would have killed his cats. He decided that snipping the end off a tube and applying the medicine to the skin was too complicated a process and besides, he's only seen baby ticks around so far. Mom agreed that tick season wouldn't start for a while and that was the last I saw of them.

I went home with a can of Bush's baked beans and a bag of tater tots that I will probably never eat. I was kind of sorry they didn't invite me home for chili.


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