Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Home sick

Last night I wished I had a live-in boyfriend. Most of the time I don't mind living alone. I like the freedom and the privacy but like anything, it does have it's downside. There's no one to take care of you when you're sick and if you die, it might take days for anyone to find you.

Morbid thought I know, but last night I was pretty sure that would be my fate. For no apparent reason, I became violently ill in the middle of the night and was so dizzy I was about to faint - it was literally going dark. Since I already suffer from an anxiety disorder this completely freaked me out. I was pretty sure I was stroking out or something, so fighting to hold on to consciousness, I stumbled out into the freezing cold in my pajamas and laid down on the front porch for a long time. I don't believe I've ever felt more wretched.

Needless to say I did live, it appears I simply have a bug, but it was quite a humbling experience.

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